An excerpt from my "Thoughts" folder

Sometimes I feel as though

Nothing can be sustained here ..

Joy

Fulfillment

Peace

Happiness

All fluctuations of varying emotions

I’ve had more jobs than I can count

Each used as tools to simply "get by"

My disinterest deepens as time goes on

I am worn

I am torn

Between creating a life of meaning

And a life of luxury

In my experience you must let loose of one in order to grasp the other

For the society I was born into has warped my psyche

Into believing that if I cannot afford the finer things that I am not fine at all

When to be rich should soley be based on the merit of my character

And the content of my soul

So Id be remissed if I continued to dismiss

This thirst

Which I cannot seem to quench

It has led me towards spiraling into an abyss

This thirst for community

Love,

Spiritual enlightenment

It has all been so hard to attain

And I have given so much of my energy simply to survival

But Either way

I will carry on,

Until I can no longer.

For what else is there to do while fighting to stay alive

In a society which thrives on materialism.

All who wonder are not lost.